we get to carry each other

This is an old photo, from 2 years ago at the Pumpkin Patch, but I like it. Dave is gone, left yesterday for Virginia. We are definitely not meant to be apart. This is going to be tough on all of us. The weekend has actually gone smoother than I anticipated. I even got all 4 ready for church and sat through most of service until the Carrie decided to stop being helpful. So, we just have to make it through 3 weeks. I will try my hardest to be SuperMom, though I know that if ever I'm a good Mom its because Dave is a great Dad. If I have to do this for a few months, I'm not sure how I'll deal with that. But I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and panic about that yet. I'll just keep my panicking to the immediate issues at hand. Warren asked today where Daddy was, and when I said "You know where he is", he replied "Oh yeah, on vacation". I assured him that Daddy was indeed working and that if left us for 3 weeks for vacation, he'd have a lot to answer for when he came back. I'm sure I'll have plenty to whine about while he's gone, so be sure to keep checking back.

how long til my soul gets it right?

I feel like buying clothes today -- of course I don't have money, so that's a problem. New clothes are fun! I want to bring CJ home some clothes too since she's leaking and can't do much but sit in a chair. Maybe I'll "come into money" and then shop.

So my 3 best friends from college -- Jackie, Janelle, and Amy -- and I are planning a trip next summer! Wahoo! The 4 of us were known suspiciously as "the Posse" around campus, and we wore that label like a tiara. We had all kinds of fun, broke a few rules, broke a few hearts :-) and other college nonsense. For the most part we have kept in touch for the past 10 years and seen each other a few times. At Amy's wedding in summer 2003 we were all together, but that's the last time. So, we're trying for a Posse reunion in Chicago (the site of our dubious origin) summer 2006. Sooo excited!!

Dave is preparing for leaving Saturday to go to Virginia. I am so torn with being so sad about the separation and wanting him to just GO already so we can find out if this is where God is taking us. There are so many emotions swirling, and I'm sure that will continue for a bit. I told him we have to get webcams so Carrie won't forget him :-(

Cooler weather is finally here....aaaaahh. Its so nice to wear long sleeves and not sweat. This morning when I woke up it was 40 degrees! Of course it will be close to 80 before the days out, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. I'm just hoping we can wear sweaters on Thanksgiving Day, and that's not always a given around here.

changes come, turn my world around

We'll see anyway. Big stuff happening in the Slaughterhouse. Dave has been offered to opportunity to work for my sister Annie's father-in-law, who has a home construction business in the D.C. area. They have generously allowed Dave to come out on a trial basis, to see how the work goes and so Dave can check out whether or not it would be a good place for us to live. He'll fly out alone for 3 weeks, coming home in time for Thanksgiving. By then we should have a good idea if this is the road God has for us to walk. We are a mix of thoughts and emotions as this approaches. There is excitement and apprehension....hopefulness and sadness. And there is a lot of unknown. For now, we appreciate the chance to see what will happen. Annie and Caleb have graciously invited Dave to stay with them, so he'll have a good time visiting with them (we don't see them too often). It would be nice to live near them, as well as just a few hours from Dave's sister near Philly. At the same time, it puts us farther from other family and friends we love, so there's the bittersweet nature of all this...

Right now I am gearing up for being a temporary single Mom while Dave is away. I certainly have the best circumstances for that, with the help from my parents and siblings. I expect Nate, Beth and Shell to help me, and in return they'll receive their share of big cokes :-) It will be hard with Dave away, hard on me and the kids, but I know that God will provide for that too. I'm praying for an extra measure of patience and grace for all of us.

To shift a bit, looks like CJ will have the nuclear medicine study done on Monday, so the Drs can try to find the leak and hopefully fix it. She is nervous, hoping they'll knock her out so she doesn't have to remember the yuckiness this time. But she's not getting better, at least not enough, so this is really necessary. She is such an active person, with such a full, busy life that its so hard to see her hurting and immobile. We all believe (even her, though it may be tough to grasp at times) that God has brought this into her life for a reason, and will not fail to work it for His good and her growth. It would be so wonderful to see her resume normal life again soon...until then we wait, pray and trust.

Too tired to post more...there's always more to say but it will wait.

take my tears and that's not nearly all

I think things are better in the whole of our lives. At least some things. CJ is still a half-invalid, but getting better it seems. That is making us all happy. I assume the Doc will tell her to still take it easy for a few weeks, maybe stick around here for a while so we can boss to her to lie still a lot, but she's on the mend. It was scary, seeing her in so much pain and no one being able to fix it. I told her that with all that pain, she'll have no trouble with childbirth some day.

Mom is better too, though she's still dealing with some troubles from her surgery. She has had so many troubles from so many things, and I hope she gets a trouble break here soon.

Pawpop will meet with the Dr. on Wednesday to discuss starting his radiation. I guess it will start pretty quickly. This is scary, and we're just praying that one round will get rid of the cancer. The holidays are a terrible time to have to go through this (is there a good time?) but I know that God's peace will be with them through it all. Pawpop is so much more trusting than I am, and watching him face this is humbling.

Dave's job at Target is going fairly well. He's trying to learn how to get enough sleep on his off days which is a challenge. But he's managing better than I had hoped, and that makes me thankful. I like him a lot.

Ok, was just listening to this and I love this song (anyone else like David Wilcox?):

what is it really that's keeping me
from living a life that's true?
when the worries speak louder than wisdom
drowns out all the answers I knew
so I'm tossed on the waves of that surface
still the mystery's dark and deep
with a much more frightening stillness
underneath

You're still written in my days, all the pages coming back to me

We just spent the day at Sea World with my friend Jennifer, her husband Jonathan, and their beautiful children Isabel and Nicholas. Jen and I met in Germany in 92 during high school, and have managed to stay in touch and be friends ever since! Both of our fathers were in the Air Force, and we lived in the same building on Rhein Main Air Base. We had such fun and have lots of silly memories to recount. New friends are wonderful, but its such a blessing to be able to stay close to the old ones and have that connection running through your lives. I've been blessed to stay close to both Jen and Jackie (my Germany and college best friend) and am so grateful for that. Jen has now moved south of Austin, so I hope to be seeing more of her in the future! Love to you, Jen!